I have walked barefoot on broken feet

WHAT WAS YOUR: 
1. last beverage: Milk :3
2. last phone call: Cant remember, maybe my grandmother or dad? :D
3. last text message: From Sami :)
4. last song you listened to: Curse my Name by Blind Guardian
5. last time you cried: When I went to a fb page where people posted pictures of their dead loved ones and some wrote why their children/parents died and it was so sad I cried D:


HAVE YOU EVER: 
6. dated someone twice = no
7. been cheated on = no, i'm quite sure
8. kissed someone & regretted it = well, depends, one of my one night stands was such a waste 
9. lost someone special = A friend who died in a moped accident, we weren't even that close but her death hit me hard
10. been depressed = nah, dark times with some sort of self harm, but i can't call it depression no. 
11. been drunk and threw up = haha yes, happened a few times


LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS: 
12. Black
13. Pink
14. Blue


THIS YEAR HAVE YOU: (2015) 
15. Made a new friend?: MANYYYY
16. Fallen out of love?: no
17. Laughed until you cried?: Aaahyeah :D
18. Met someone who changed you?: well, depend on what you mean by change? I don't think so
19. Found out who your true friends were?: knew that last year already
20. Found out someone was talking about you?: no
21. Kissed anyone on your fb friend's list ?: yeah :D


GENERAL: 
22. How many people on your fb friends list do you know in real life: most of them, yeah
24. Do you have any pets?: dog, cat, bunny and horse :)
26. What did you do for your last birthday: had a lotr-marathon :D
27. What time did you wake up today: 08.35
28. What were you doing at midnight last night: Scrolling the phone 
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for: NIGHTWISH IN NOVEMEBER HOLY YES
30. Last time you saw your Mother: today
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: nothing i can think of right now
32. What are you listening to right now: Curse my name by Blind Guardian :D
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: My maternal grandfather's name's Tom :D
34. What's getting on your nerves right now: that I have to make the choice of which of the children get's the main character in the play in november and the one who doesn't get it will get sad
35. Most visited web page: tumblr
36. Who is sitting beside you right now?: My cat was here but she ran away D:
37. Nicknames: Becca and Bex
38. Relationship Status: Taken
39. Zodiac Sign: Libra
40. He or She?: She 
41. Elementary?: A school where it was almost impossible to get the best grade, but it was a nice school though
42. Middle School?: *secondary school. The school where I found friends and foes, where I once threw a piece of scrumbled paper in the eye of a boy I had a crush on because I wanted his attention :DD
43. High School?: *upper secondary school. A school where I found out what people I wanted to hang with, where I decided what I wanted to do when older and where I learned how to study.
44. Hair Color?: Orange-blonde
45. Long or Short?: Semi long 
46. Height?: 155 cm
47.Do you have a crush on someone?: I am in love, that's more than a crush
48: What do you like about yourself?: Sometimes my personality, but I like my nose
49. Piercings?: Ears.
50. Tattoos?: Not yet (i think)
51. Righty or lefty?: Right handed :)
52. First surgery = Haven't been on a surgery
53. First piercing = EARS??
54. First best friend = Marie.
55. First sport you joined = athletics, then figure skating and then horse back riding


RIGHT NOW: 
59. Eating - nothing
60. Drinking - nothing
61. I'm about to; Go and watch Broadcurch bc I hate studying
62. Listening to; 21 Guns - Broadway live
63. Waiting for; To go downstairs
64. Want kids?; Yes.
65. Get Married?; Yes.
66. Career?: Student, and what we call "dragare" in my language as a part time job


WHICH IS BETTER: 
67. Lips or eyes? = Both :)
68. Hugs or kisses = Kisses with hugs
69. Shorter or taller = Taller
70. Older or Younger = Doesn't matter to me
71. Romantic or Spontaneous: Spontaneous, just like my man :)
72. Nice stomach or nice arms = I have to go with stomach
73. Sensitive or loud = Sensitive
74. Hook-up or relationship = Relationship 
75. Trouble maker or hesitant = both goes


HAVE YOU EVER: 
76. Kissed a stranger = Yes
77. Drank hard liquor = Also yes.
78. Lost glasses/contacts = No
79. Sex on first date = No
80. Broken someone's heart = I don't think so
81. Had your own heart broken = Yeah, like five times it's so funny
83. Turned someone down = Yeah
84. Cried when someone died = of course, i'm not a heartless monster what do you think of me?
85. Fallen for a friend = No


DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 
86. Yourself = Almost always
87. Miracles = Not really 
88. Love at first sight = Interest and a hope of love, maybe
89. Heaven = no
90. Santa Claus = good one :D
91. Kiss on the first date =  What actually is it to believe in? That you will fall in love? 
92. Angels = no


ANSWER TRUTHFULLY: 
93. Had more than one bf/gf?; Not at the same time of course
94. Is there one person you want to be with right now?; My boyfriend so baaadlyyy
95. Did you sing today?; Yeah a lil bit :)
96. Ever cheated on somebody?; Never
97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go, and why?; To world war II
98. If you could pick a day from last year and relive it, what would it be?; 2014? When I was out with my friends and we danced until the sun rose and I walked barefoot in Helsinki on destroyed feet
99. Are you afraid of falling in love?; It's always a risk, but scared? No
100. Posting this as 100 truths?; Yeah???

The ghost of Girls and backpain

I went with the most precious young man I know to the cinema, and we watched "When Marnie was there", the newest Ghibli movie.

I was blown away by the movie, it was so beautiful and hauting. I highly recommend the movie to anyone who doesn't hate animated movies.

Aaaand I am quite sick, not like "i've got flu cough cough" but more like "i've been twice to the hospital and am on strong painkillers because apparently i've got arthritis in my back" :DDDD

List of Happiness

As I once mentioned, I like video games a whole lot. Me and my boyfriend finished Alice: Madness returns, and let me tell you, I am so happy yet sad that I got through that game.
We are also currently playing Skyward Swords (Legend of Zelda) and we started on Amnesia the other day, so we have a bunch to do :)

BUT THE THING IS WE FOUND OCARINA OF TIME AT HIS PLACE LIKE HOLY FUDGE??? I thought that was a game I'd never get around to play and then he randomly finds it? :D

Another thing to smile at in these dark days. I should do a list of things that makes me happy

• I've got a job I love
• I have the full support to move out
• I get to play games I've always wanted to play
• My horse is getting better every day
• She was also very cute today
• Even if I'm sick I know I am sick because I spend two nights at my boyfriend's, taking care of him while he was sick, and that makes this sickness worth it
• I finally have the medication I need
• I know I'll get though this stressful time

i w i l l p r o t e c t y o u

Minä suojelen sinua kaikelta
mitä ikinä keksitkin pelätä
Ei ole sellaista pimeää 
jota minun hento 
käteni ei torjuisi

<3

I'll protect you from everything
you ever make up being afraid of
There is no such darkness
that my fragile hand can't
fight

-ish

Responsibilities .___.

As I write this, I am at my grandparents on my mother's side, and am watching over their dog. Which comes with some responsibilities.

There is something about having responsibilities that makes me cringe. I don't like having something I'm not too familiar with under my whole protection.

Like I'll never forget when I was alone at my job with the kids (12-13 yrs old) and one of the changing rooms where they stored all their phones, moneys etc got locked. The lock went all crazy and didn't open, even though it was open for them to store their stuff in there. 

I had no keys as my co worker (who is the key owner) was ill in a town 50 km from the town I was in. The students' stuff was locked away...

So in full panic I sent a few of the kids to the office to see if someone with the keys was there, but the office had shut down half an hour earlier. When the next group of kids came along I had to explain to them that we can't start the lesson until we got the bags out of the room.

One of the newly arrived teenagers had a number to one of the persons who worked at a office in the building who might have the keys. So I had to get over the fear of calling to unknown persons and nicely asked her to drive to the building.

But one thing I didn't know was that one of the kids had a mum who owned keys. AND SHE DIDN'T TELL ME.
A few minutes later the mum arrives and unlocks the room. I thought it was the woman who I called, but it turned out the woman I asked to unlock the door came when we got on with the club.

She didn't show her anger when I told her that another person just had been there. But I guess she got mad, as she drove to the work place all for nothing.


That was not nice!

Did someone say Ghibli?

Youtube has some random disturbances so I'm trying to pass time by writing, as it takes suprisingly long time to write?? (i will never ever pity myself for writing, some bloggers do that and i want to scream at their faces so they'll learn to never ever pity themselves and make the readers feel bad bc it is so damn hard to write have mercy yhyyy it may be hard as balls, but then just don't post anything and never explain yourself, do anything but pity yourself)

Wow, now that rant is over.

I haven't seen almost any Ghibli films except Totoro and Spirited Away, but since I met my boyfriend and I found out he likes anime/the Ghibli films and he happens to own all of them we have watched a couple of those movies. The movies we've seen so far are:

• Laputa
• Hime Mononoke
• Kiki's Delivery Service
• Howl's Moving Castle

Out of these I actually liked Kiki the best. I don't know why but it's so cozy :3

Read the last one

Ten how’s:
1. How did you get one of your scars? – I fell down a pair of granit stairs 
2. How did you celebrate your last birthday? – Had a party with my friends. The party was not actually there for me (it just happened to be on my birthday) but my friends bought a cake for me, which was cute :D
3. How are you feeling at this moment? – I wonder what's wrong with my nose ._. 
4. How did your night go last night? – I slept like a little baby :3 But the evening, if you mean, I spent walking and visiting my brother.
5. How did you do in high school? – Studied the things I had to study to get pasts my matriculation exams. That was biology, psychology, health care, Finnish, English and finally Swedish (along with other mandatory subjects).
6. How did you get the shirt you’re wearing? – My mum bought it when I was younger, but it still fits :D 
7. How often do you see your best friend(s)? – Two I meet weekly, one lives 500 km from me so not that often :D
8. How much money did you spend last month? – I haven't checked by bank account, too scared for that. 
9. How old do you want to be when you get married? – I'd love to be younger than 25. 
10. How old will you be at your next birthday? – 21 next year, 20 this year

Nine what’s:
1. Your mother's name? – nobody knows.... ;)
2. What did you do last weekend? – Spent time with my boyfriend :)
3. What is the most important part of your life? – My identity, without it I'm nothing. 
4. What would you rather be doing? – Idk maybe write on my novels a bit more?
5. What did you last cry over? – Because someone committed suicide by jumping in front of one of the trains, resulting the whole train station of Pasila to shut down for a couple of hours, and the traffic was horrible because everyone had to travel by bus and a route that usually takes 40 min took 1 h and 15 minutes and I got so stressed I cried in the bus hehehe...
6. What always makes you feel better when you’re upset? – Forgetting everything by scrolling the internet, or talking to my mum. 
7. What’s the most important thing you look for in a significant other? – Must like an extremly extrovert person (aka me) and love Lord of the Rings :D
8. What are you worried about? – Death (omg please, just leave me alone, thoughts! >:( )
9. What did you have for breakfast? – Yoghurt and müsli. 

Eight Have you-s:
1. Have you ever liked someone who had a girlfriend/boyfriend? – No, not what I remember.
2. Have you ever had your heart broken? – Yes, three times by exes and two times by friends.
3. Have you ever been out of the country? – Juuh!
4. Have you ever done something outrageously dumb? – Yeahh...
5. Have you ever been back stabbed by a friend? – Not exactly in the context of getting betrayed, but I got my heart broken by them so yeah? 
6. Have you ever had sex on the beach? – The drink? Yes, but it's horribly sweet. Having actual intimate contact with another human I'd rather keep in my house.
7. Have you ever dated someone younger than you? – Yes, thrice. They were all one year younger (or one was acutally four months younger but the year changed haha)
8. Have you ever read an entire book in one day? – Not since I got older.

Seven who’s:
1. Who was the last person you saw? – My parents 
2. Who was the last person you texted? – The very cute boyfriend :)
3. Who was the last person you hung out with? – Boyfriend, earlier today. Before that two of my friends.
4. Who was the last person to call you? – mum :)
5. Who did you last hug? – Boyfriend
6. Who is the last person who texted you? – A group chat where the last message is "Kingdom of Eastern Finland <laughsmile>"
7. Who was the last person you said “I love you” to? – boyfriend :)

Six where’s:
1. Where does your best friend(s) live? – Like all of them in Finland
2. Where did you last go? – Toilet 
3. Where did you last hang out? – A crêpes café (or stable).
4. Where do you go to school? – University of Helsinki
5. Where is your favorite place to be? – With people
6. Where did you sleep last night? – In my own bed

Five do’s:
1. Do you think anyone likes you? – Romantically yes
2. Do you ever wish you were someone else? – Nah, I wish sometimes my person were different. 
3. Do you know the muffin man? – nobody cares
4. Does the future scare you? – No, I take all the challenges with ease 
5. Do your parents know about your blog? – Not this one, but my dad knows about my tumblr

Four why’s:
1. Why are you best friends with your best friend? – Because we're alike :)
2. Why did you get into Blogging? – For the first time, in 2009 when I was 14, it was Foki who inspired me into blogging. After that I quitted, but CaptainImaginary got me into tumblr in 2011, and four years later I still blog on tumblr. First I used tumblr as a personal blog where I wrote about my problems, but then I decided to stop posting that. This blog I used to write in Swedish, but look what it's become... :D
3. Why did your parents give you the name you have? –  I don't know 
4. Why are you doing this survey? – I love answering questions!

Three if’s:
1. If you could have one super power what would it be? – Manipulate stuff
2. If you could go back in time and change one thing, would you? – Maybe one minor thing? 
3. If you were stranded on a deserted island and could bring 1 thing, what would you bring? – Maybe the desertet island would be in the Finnish waters? I'd get something that would get me home.

Two would-you-ever’s:
1. Would you ever get back together with any of your ex’s if they asked you? – hell no, all of them are like ghosts to me, they don't exist. 
2. Would you ever shave your head to save someone you love? – Yeah, I would.

One last question:
1. Are you happy with your life right now? – Yes.