The bitterness of death

Man, I'm tired. Have no energy. NO ENERGY WHATSOEVER

January has felt long. But today the third period of school (work) ended, and from now on it's gonna get easier. Way easier. I taught four courses this period (and THAT is draining, I tell you), and now I'm gonna have only two courses.

AAAHhhh yeeeaaasshhh I'm so DONE

finished

dead

One of my students committed suicied this month. It felt... I don't know how it felt.

While I've, while growing up, thought so MUCH about suicide, not alway about committing it myself, but as the whole social aspect of it. Death, and mainly suicide, been a driving force in my creative thinking. I am a brutal and gothic person when it comes to creating a fictional young persons life, and, yes, I find "beauty" in horror and sorrow.


I know I glorify suicides in ex. my writing. I'm aware of it.

Witnessing it in real life, the sorrow of a school after one of the students has died a brutal way, was bitter.

I just don't know how to feel.

So maybe I should distance myself from feeling.