My chest is burning

My chest is burning

and the thing that is burning in there is anger and dissapointment at the same time. I manage to control myself but it burns, it burns so much.

I am ofc disappointed in myself. That I am the way I am. I only manage to hurt people, I'm hurtful and stupid.

I did scratch the skin on my arm a few weeks ago. I found a glass shard (everytime I find a glass shard I need to scratch/cut myself), but I was very careful not to break the skin. I don't want anyone to see such disturbing behaviour.

What's good with scratches is that they disappear within an hour, and the pain is moderate. And I still get to see something on my skin, something... dangerous and unwanted. Something that gets my adrenaline pumping.