Hurting someone

I was going to write in all fury and disappointent and self loathing all this on Sunday or Monday, but I had to get a few extra days to process and accept this issue.

Have you ever hurt someone so bad that they cry in your face, and you never meant to hurt them but something insignificant you once said turned out to have a huge impact on them and they dwell and cry about what you said and you had no idea.

I managed to hurt my mum really bad about a week ago. It was horrible.

I had meant it as a joke. As a simple not so funny joke. Turns out she took it very serious and I had ruined her day and taken away her night sleep, and then she confronted me; and let me tell you, having your mum cry in front of you because her own daughter was such a piece of shit, my god


it was horrible


so so horrible


and I hate myself for what I said


it was a joke


but then there's this thing again to remember

Words hurt just as much as a knife

Fuck

Please, tell your parents how much they mean to you

I almost lost my mum two weeks ago, and then I managed to break her heart

it was horrible

but it's good now. better now. but damn.

it was horrible