No Story Lives Forever

No Story Lives Forever
Broken

onsdag 12 september 2018

Vomiting

These past few weeks I've encountered a problem I've never had before.

I want to vomit out my food.

Or not I as in me, but as in my body.

i'm not pregrant

it's not bulimia

it's something else

I don't dislike my body and I've never had a bad relationship with food. Why do I get reflexes of puking when I eat? This doesn't happen always. But often enough for me to react to it and become annoyed by it.

I vomited my entire breakfast this morning. Everything of it. Against my will.

Why does my body want to vomit?

I googled it this morning, annoyed that my breakfast was in the toilet rather than in my belly.

"Throwing up food suggests emotional stress" (when not talking about bulimia)

Fuck. Is it that bad already? I've only been working for a month, I CAN'T HAVE EMOTIONAL STRESS ALREADY. I don't want to. Is this signs of a burn out, when your body throws up food? Please no.

I'm so... tired. I am happy. But why does my body reject food?

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