Breathe in

Breath out. Everything is okay. It really is.

I can sleep well now. I can smile now. I can love you more than ever.

I have seriously cried every single fucking day in February, and god knows how many times during Janurary.

My dream came true this year and I am happy a lot.

But I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK ISS WRONG WITH ME. I can't handle stress anymore. I get panic attacks.It feels like I might get suicide thoughts.

Small things feel like the biggest thing to me, I cry to everything.

e v e r y f u c k i n g t h i n g.

I feel like people hate me. But I know they don't.

Like, I have put so fucking much time and energy into this one fucking project and nothing I've done is good enough or apprieciated

Dead Boy's Poem

"I live no more to shame, nor me, nor you, I'm sorry"

Born from silence, silence full of it
A perfect concert my best friend
So much to live for, so much to die for
If only my heart had a home

Sing what you can't say
Forget what you can't play
Hasten to drown into beautiful eyes
Walk within my poetry, this dying music
- My loveletter to nobody

I am so graphic.

I can talk about disgusting stuff like blood and puke and piss for how long I want. Others turn green and feel bad when I talk about incest or other controversial topics. Because I describe every detail.

And I try to understand them, but it is hard
Why can't they understand me? Like why can't they understand I need to talk graphic to express myself.

I can't help it