Creating fan content (because this is my latest obsession and I want to BABBLE!)

This post is connected to the post I wrote 5.12, called "When are you too "grown up" for something?"

I mentioned in that post a woman who deleted her magnificant stories because she felt "too old" for writing fanrelated fiction and that made me angry.

Now, I've done some more research, and I've come to the conclusion that most of the fans creating and publishing content on the websites on the internet (this is important, I mean websites like ao3 or tumblr or even youtube) are adults over 20 year of age.

It's fun to see when you get to know other creators and get to know their occupation, I mean, they are pre-school teachers, engineers, pharmacists and so forth and it's so delightful for me to relate to these other women in other countries doing real ass grown up stuff just like I, and still create for a show that originally was meant for boys in the early 2000s. So MUCH FUN!

The important thing is that this is on the www-sites. As soon as you step into Instagram (and oh, I tell you, Instagram has a huge portion of fanculture in it) the age of the creators sinks to 15. I've read and seen wonderful content that's created by people born in 2003 and this is where the "cringe culture" comes in, because even IF the stuff I've seen can be really wonderful, there's the other part with so cringy content where you see that oh, shit, this is a 13-year old admin aaaa abort mission

I guess what I wanted to say was that I've found again the love for fan creating, something I loved when I was a cringy teenager, and then took a distance from when "I grew up and began the gymnasium" and now I realize that hell I don't have to grow up from this stuff.

This is an amazing hobby to do together with other people age 20+ and it's glorious.

The Loss of a Dog

Have you ever had a dog?

If you do have, have you also lost a dog?

I lost my family's dog in September. She was old, and had quickly advanced cancer, and she was in so, so much pain that putting her down was basically the only right thing to do. My parents did everything to save her. They spent thousands of euros on medicine and expensive surgeries.

In just five months our lovely dog turned into a shell, and it was heartbreaking to watch her suffer.

She was like my mum's third child. And I know, comparing a dog to a human is silly, but it is necessary. They took her everywhere with them. They even went to Crete (island in the Mediterranian) with our dog in the spring, when she still was healthy.

It's Christmas in a few days, and as a present for my parents I bought a custom painting of our dog. It's the most money I've spent on a present ever, but I felt like I had to. The painting is soo beautiful, and just looking at it tears me up but I'm also so happy because it looks so real.

So, it's not going to be "fun" to give that present to mum and dad because I know mum will probs cry, but then they'll have a wonderful painting of Nelli in their living room and it's so beautiful that hopefully that'll cover some of the loss.

And they're getting a new puppy in January!!!! So now Nelli can watch over the puppy, Molly, from the painting.


Silly I know.

But when you're grieving you do what you gotta do

Happiness

ON A SIDE NOTE THO, TODAY WHEN I CHECKED MY BLOG OFFICIALLY HAS GAINED OVER 3000 CLICKS AND THAT IS QUITE COOL.

Okay, side note is over.

I've just had really really really fun. I'm generally really happy right now.

1. It feels just so awesome to have finished a big project.

2. I've restarted writing my Master Thesis and it's going okay so far.

3. I just started writing on a new fictional piece but it's going to become a short one (less than 10k words)

4. I finished a cute lil drawing I've worked on for maybe four hours or so and I'm very pleased with the result

5. I had the most awesome bacherolette party ever during the weekend and my heart is SWELLING of all the love that was shown towards me <3

6. I'm just generally happy everyone in my family is healthy

7. My parents are getting a little puppy in like 20 days!!!

8. !!!!!

Six years of my life through songs

Everyone posted their Spotify-wrapped results the 5th of December when they became official and I think it's cute to see what other people listen to because music is so personal and it really tells a lot about the person.

But if you go through all your Sporify-wrapped, it tells you more information than just 2019's most listened songs.

I've had Spotify since 2010, and in my case, the Spotify wrapped showed me also the most listened song of all years.

2010

Most listened song: Europa by Globus
Most listened artist: Globus (lol surprise)

During 2010 I was reaally into World War II and Europa is a song that basically narrates all wars Europe has been through in a really cool way (I suggest listening to that song, it's still one of my favourites). I dreamt of performing with this song, dressed in military clothes and waving around with a gun. Doesn't all 15-year old girls dream of similar things? Just me? Ok.

2011

Most listened song: River Flows in You by Yiruma
Most listened artist: Idina Menzel

Ooh, River Flows in You is a piano solo song, and a really beautiful one. Like, dance to this on your wedding- beautiful, and I listened alot to it that spring of 2011. Yes, I also listen to piano songs because you gotta chill from your waving with guns-songs, jeez.
Idina Menzel is actually the voice and singer of Elsa from Frozen, but I knew her from the musical Wicked, which was my obsession during 2011. I listened so much to the soundtrack of that musical, and because Idina Menzel had the main part as the main character, she became the one I listened to the most.


2012-2016 I had a conjoined account with my dad (before he kicked me out and bought me a new one because he didn't want our Spotify to recommend metal songs to him anymore and GOD it was embarrassed when he checked the history and saw certain songs I had listened to jesus christ no dad i'm not crazy those songs about women in mental institutions are just for inspiration - i mean, no - it's just art!)

2016

Most listened song: God of Drow
Most listened artist: Nightwish

God of Drow is a dramatic instrumental orchestral piece that make my non-existing balls shrivel, okay? Just listen to it. Ah. Shivers. So good. SO. GOOD!!
And Nightwish. Self explanatory. Best band ever.

2017

Most listened song: Swashbuckler and the Fair Maiden
Most listened artist: Nightwish

Swasbuckler and the Fair Maiden is another instrumental orchestral piece, that is not at the least as dramatic as the previous year's fav, but it's none the less very, VERY inspiring and makes me smile.
And yeah, Nightwish. Nuff said.

2018

Most listened song: Ready as I'll ever be
Most listened artist: Nightwish

Okay, OKAY, here's the tea! Ready as I'll ever be is a song from the Disney animated series of Rapunzel. You know, princess with long hair? After their feature movie with her they made an animated series, which I've never seen in its enterity, but they have THIS ONE??? PERFECT?? SONG???!! Ready as I'll ever be is the song the villain sings before he attacks the city and villain songs are soo good and aaargh I listened this song on far to menay repeats for my own good

And Nightwish again :D

2019

Most listened song: Yggdrasil by Brothers of Metal
Most listened artist: Sabaton

Yggdrasil was a song I used to listen at repeat on while writing the play that had its premiere in May 2019, and though the song had nothing to do with the story or the theme of the play, but I imagined the main character singing to this song. Dunno why. I like the song!

And Nightwish got kicked of its throne (well, it's second most listened now lol) by Sabaton, which is a great band that I saw live this August.
I love Sabaton very very much!

When finishing something that meant something for you

Ooh, separation anxiety, hello!

From my story, of course.

I finished it. Like, really, really finished it. I published the final chapter and let it go.

It turned out wonderful. Became 81 000 words long. I grew so fond of my main characters, you've got no idea.

I wrote the whole thing in English, and I'm so proud of me for doing it.

Hell, I know people won't get the gist of it because it is a fanfiction, meaning it's inspired directly from events from the original (in my case the anime Naruto), but what the heck:

Here's the link to the story,
in case anyone wants to read it with google open in other tabs to figure out what the hell this universe is.

Now I'll go off writing on my Master Thesis.

When are you too "grown up" for enjoying certain things?

In 2017 I read a fantastic, bloody amazing fanfiction, that wasn't too long (as bloody amazing fanfics tend to be), but it was brutal, it was honest and it had the best emotional torture I have ever read. And the most funny thing is that this fanfic was inspired by the musical CATS. That musical, with barely any plot (which is a lie, there is actually quite a lot of plot if you listen to the words of their songs and analyse the play. But no, it's not easy to grasp the plot if you just watch it once and don't care more abt it) was the basis on a bloody amazing story.

Anyways, I remember reading it mesmerizingly on the metro and in buses from my phone.

She even started writing a sequal of the fanfic, regarding the characters that went through the emotional torture and how they cope and survive the aftermath, and she wrote four relatively short chapters.

And then she announced that she "has grown up and don't do silly things like writing fanfictions for a relatively happy musical with no plot".

I was baffled, but of course respected her choice.

Now I started looking for those fanfics again, to get inspiration, because they were so good, and I found out that she had deleted them. Deleted them! The only trace of her online presence she had left was a few of her comedy fics from the same fandom, but the angsty ones were gone.

Heck, I'm 24. I've posted stuff like torture from my fanfic on the internet, but I don't think like hell that it's "immature" to do so, as long as the angst and H/C is dealt with in a mature way (which it is and which her story was!).

I was just so baffled that this person felt probably embarrassed by writing angst on the internet now that she is a real "grown up".

I know that most online writers with decent quality content are over 20. Some of them might be around 18-ish, but the majority is probably closer to 30 than 20. People are talking about their spouses and heck, even about their children. There are mothers out there writing amazing content, for us, for free, and it should hell not be embarrassing, even IF you've written about though, horrible content like torture.

It should not matter! Age should not matter! You're real life should not matter online (as long as you're not doing anything harmful).

Argh! I get upset by thoughts like this.