I was suprised when I saw that people have checked this blog! Like, I haven't written anything onto here for a long time and still there have been some readers. Haha, funny writings, me writing about how bad I feel.
But that is the thing about blogs touching self hate as a subject. I used to go into all kinds of hashtags in instagram only to watch cuts and blood of other people. That was some time ago too, I haven't touched those hashtags for a while, while I still know people upload thing there all the time.
Depression.
Suicidal.
And so on and on.
I am depressed? No, I don't think so. I have anxiety, yes. Sometimes loads of it, and I once though of jumping out of the window. I said that to my boyfriend and he confronted me. Everything is fine.
I do almost never talk about this to my friends. Like never. My boyfriend knows and my mum knows, but not more than that, which I think is good. I don't want people to know how sick my mind can be, for no good reason.
That is also one reason I haven't uploaded this blog. I might even consider deleting this, when I grow older, as I don't want future friends knowing about this part of me.
But right now I am happy. Happy happy happy. Feed on this feeling,
