Rip my soul

I just need to get this out before my thoughts perish into some kind of void.

I... I just feel like giving up. I know I won't give up but I want to.

My whole body aches. It feels like I've run a marathon but I've only gone to school and work this day. My mind feels dull and sharp at the same time. I might enter a new phase of my weird "depression" now during march.

I've gone through so two phases already, in January the crying panicky phase, in February the dull, tired, uninspired phase, and what is now in store, the psychosomatic phase??

I just don't want to do it anymore. I don't want to stress myself to the point of death and destruction, and I fear I will. I will cry, rip a whole in my stomach and skin and get rashes again and other bodily diseases
and
just thinking about the spring
makes me...

want to die.