Does likes on social media make me happy?

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No really, don't share. It was a joke. But I'd like to puke some words about social media and likes.
There was no likes on IRC-galleria, the social media we used back in 2008. Instead you'd comment on others pictures, and the comments were usually useless, in the likes of "omg nice poster on your wall" or "X-teacher is soo bad, skip english tomorrow?". IRC-galleria was quite fun, because no one had any barriers on what they posted on there. No potential employers, or future parents-in-law, nothing.

I can't really say likes were a big deal on Facebook either, not when I was a teenager. You'd comment. We all commented so much on each others posts, and it was also most likely useless things. That might have just been me and my social circle, but I got maybe one or two comments on the pictures I posted, someone saying I was cute, but it was not much. I remember how chocked I was when one of my profile pictures got 40 likes. To me that was much. So getting more likes on the following pic, and more and more was nice, but I never required it.

I was 17 when I got Instagram. I had 22 followers for a long time. Got 11 or less likes on almost everything I posted. It was a pleasent suprise when I got 20 likes on one good selfie. I knew why I got so few likes, and I accepted it. I accepted being disliked by my "friends". I mean, I have about 200 followers now (but like 70 of them are ghost followers), but I still get between 20-50 likes, so nothing has really changed (but I hope none of my friends are faking their friendship with me). I'm not angry about it, nor do I hunger for more likes nor followers. I know that I am more worthy than that. More worthy than numbers. I know I can't make anyone like me against their will, I've tried and failed so many times I don't even bother anymore.

So when I see others' accounts, people (often younger than me) getting like 200 likes on one pictures, I get so confused. WHERE DO THEY GET THESE LIKES FROM? How can someone not famous  have so many followers liking them? The concept is so strange to me, as I've grown up being the odd one and the freak. But I get why these people get hysterical over their amount of likes. Because they most likely don't know how it's to grow up being hated by both others and themselves, so they rely on others' trust. And when they feel like they've failed getting the confirmation, affirmation and "love" by others, they fail themselves, becoming anxious and may ending up deleting the picture.

I even heard that people message eachother begging for likes. I've never gotten such request ever, nor have I ever asked anyone to like my pictures. Because I know I can't force people to like me, neither in real life or on any social media.

I've been forced to rely on my own damn self and trust myself so I wouldn't end up going insane from being alone.

That's why I don't care about likes. That's why I'm acutally relieved not getting 200 likes.