I have spoken quite a lot about being suicidal in winter -16, but I've never gone into details why or what exactly caused those horrible feelings. It's no secret everything had its beginning from me joining a student organization in 2014.
It's now been one year since I did the final straw for this organization, and I think that after this February, after the great Year Ball, I will break ties forever. After that, I will never attend anything that organization offers.
What was so horrible about that organization and why have I been part of it for four year???, you may ask.
I will tell you. But in another post. It's going to be a post where everything is throughoutly explained. Now, one year after I did the final straw, has my mind finally eased, and I can really think back, organize my memories and feelings, put things in perspective and so on. I've done massive thinking acitivity about this thing, almost as much as with my aggressive period when I was 13 and brought a knife to school.
Thinking and reflecting about the times when you've been at your lowest helps.
Because I want my explanation to be from start to finish and coherent, and therefore not in separate parts, it will take a while to write it. It's going to be a long journey of my madness and recovery. A very long post.
Stay tuned for it, if you want to read how I ended up hysterically crying about wanting to die in February 2016, tune in here in a few days.
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