Revisited post from 2015 (long post)

Let's revisit some old posts! This post is still to this day my most read post (I don't get how people find this post from four years back, but hey, nice for you!). This was also my first post in English on this blog.

11.3.2015

I started to think of how much the world (everything) of Alice in Wonderland has shaped me into the one I am. I don't mean that AiW is or was the biggest thing in my life, but always, always when I've seen gifs, pictures, anything connected to AiW, I've felt like coming home.

It started when I was 9, and the theatre association I had joined the year before put up Alice in Wonderland as show. Of all the people there, of all the 13-20+ years old there, I, who was NINE at that point, got the part as the Red Queen.

I loved playing the Red Queen, getting to shout and all (I'm loud okay?) and ever since then, Wonderland has been a home to me. It welcomes me back, always. But what is it that really haunts me from this universe?

I'd say it's the gore. You may wonder which gore I'm talking about, and I'll answer you Madness Returns.

Madness Returns is a game that touches Alice, 19 years old, who suffers several mental diseases after her family got roasted alive while their house burned down. Only Alice herself survived. Now, as an almost grownup she has horrible hallucinations and gets to Wonderland where everything is horror and gore.

Best game ever made.

I even created a small play about it when I still was in the theatre school. It was pretty horrible, where I acted as Alice and my friend as Dr. Bumby and one was the Mad Hatter and another one was Nanny, The story was kindof copied from the game, but not entirely. Well, I think it actually was pretty cool, but as usual everyone else was freaked out and apparently my wrist snapped loudly when my friend grabbed me by it, and the teacher said it was scary (which she used to say about anything I created).

But I can't help but feeling welcomed to that mad place. Somewhere gore. It's so hard to explain but sometimes there is this one place you want to belong to, wether it is New York och Middle Earth. And Wonderland is kind of my place.

A place I can never visit.

As I wrote in 2015, I have always loved Alice in Wonderland. I don't like the animated Disney movie that much, or even the live action movies (most thanks to Johnny Depp, he's too overrated), but the concept of Alice in Wonderland is SOOOO... WONDERFUL! I love the mystery around it. The game that I refer to in that post was a great horror game I gamed for many years (I was pretty slow when it came to finishing it), 2012-2015. I own the art book of that game.

Still to this day I love that game and the horror it brought to the audience. Making children shows/concepts into straight K18-art is my cup of tea! It welcomes my creaticity, and thus, also me.

I even has this blog called "my Wonderland" y'all!

And as for the theatre part of that post (because I will never shut up about theatre), I wrote there that the play was horrible, but as I remember it, it wasn't THAT bad, but my friends couldn't hold up my pace. They didn't understand why I wanted to make a horror Alice in Wonderland with them (even if all of them were of the more skilled teenagers there) and with the very limited time I failed to explain my vision to them.

My vision. That was all it was about. What I wanted, not what they wanted. This trio followed every step of mine at the theatre during that year. And they wanted be to tell them what to do. I'd like to think they liked my visions, even if they didn't always understand them.

There's two theatre's in that post, I was only a child when I was part of the earlier theatre. I was the second youngest of the whole ensamble (where the majority were teens or young adults) and I got that big part. Imagine my pride.

Anyways, I still love Alice in Wonderland to this day :D