Tenacious little me

I listened today to an old song from the movie Tenacious D, which was a huge favourite of mine when I was 13 years old, in seventh grade. I  know I go back to the times I was 13 quite a lot, but there's so much to untangle from that year in my life that I won't stop until I don't have the need to mull over my past anymore.


The movie Tenacious D was everything a little rebel me needed. It was a comedy musical about heavy metal, had satanistic undertones, a lot of cursing and a lot of brutal sex in it. Maybe not you go to-movie for a 13 year old girl, but I loved that movie, and had downloaded some of its music.

Me, a girl, listening to that movie's songs made me actually quite popular in the boys' department, as they hadn't met a girl that liked "boy stuff" that way before.

But back to the satanistic undertones.

I used to tease my very religious friend about me watching the movie Tenacious D. She saw heavy metal (and the very obvious Satan character) as satanism and I loved to scare her about demons and devils. Not maybe the best move of someone who wanted to call her a friend, but when thinking back I realize I used the shocking method in getting friends that spring of 2009.

My way of making people look at me, and see me and talk to me was to do something absurd/shocking enough so they'd remember me.

It worked for the most time, but only short term. No one wanted to be friends with a madman for real. I didn't care. I liked the attention from people being actually scared of me. I wanted to be frightning, because to me, that equaled power. If my friends are afraid of me, I can control them.

That didn't work out of course.

I'm so happy that one friend called me out for being agressive and hitting people, because I don't know if I could stop if it hadn't been for her.

Thinking back to that movie makes me laugh a lil bit at myself. Foolish little 13-year old girl, thinking violence could solve most things. Lol.

Over ten years ago. Thankfully time flies.