S.R 5 part 1

Upper secondary school. I knew no one beforehand. Exiting and scary at the same time.

I am though a social person, so during the first day, I managed to find five girls to hang around with. They were fun and okay, but no one shared my interest. No one was into acting, horses, fantasy, reading, deep conversations, being a lil childish sometimes, metal music, alternative clothing, make up  etc etc. None of that. It was like... they hadn't any interests. Two of them had done dancing, but there it ended. It felt pretty weird having friends with no hobbies.

And for the rest of the school? I managed to kind of get the label as the weird one the very first month. We were at our "class camp" and we played a game where one should shout the class mates name in a random order.

Well, I'd done acting for six year by that time, I knew how to play theatre games. But. I had always done it with ppl better than myself, and had learned how to win. And when it was my time, I shouted the other guys name. Loud.

We were by a beach and, god, my scream echoed a good ten seconds. Everyone stared at me like I was an alien. They were not used to theatre games.

So I became the weird freak (kinda against my will) of my year aaand that made me change myself against my will. I wasn't accepted as the one I truly was, and the only solution was to become someone they accepted. I didn't really change my clothing style, more my behaviour. Don't be too over the top, don't be loud, don't be someone who's sticking out too much etc

It was hard. Capturing myself behind iron bars. It sucked.

So this is where I learned to use acting as my defence. At the place I was at that time, a certain theatre, I realized how to bend the rules to my own benefit. I guess the teacher realized why I did the things I did, but she never said against me or put me down. So that was the place where I was myself, where I acutally found myself. And yes, I was over the top, I got a lil aggressive again, but oh, man, it felt soo good. Showing emotions of anger, fear, sorrow, aah, that was what I needed so badly. I was saved, I had saved myself.

For now...

See ya later
Next time, summer between 1 and 2 grade + 2 grade in upper secondary school