Who I am

I had a wonderful play-writing session yesterday (bless the team I'm surrounded by!!!) and I once again realized that I'm a bit slow when it comes to comedy.


Always known I don't like comedy that much, and always known I don't really like writing/performing comedy.


But it seems everyone else love comedy. We had a really good brainstorming session where the team and I figured together out a thrilling story with different premisses:

A homosexual couple, Jakob and Fritz, defies society 1939, and when the Jakob has to leave for war Fritz dresses up as a woman (to avoid army) and work in a corset shop. The Fritz dies before the man returns from war.

A friend couple, Jakob and Fritz, where Jakob is gay but Fritz is not. Fritz is a jew and has to hide at Jakob's and they live as husband and wife (Fritz dresses as a woman to hide his identity). When Jakob returns from war Fritz leaves him.

Neither Jakob nor Fritz are homosexual as they know in the beginning, but gradually finds feelings for one another, but in the end Fritz still leaves Jakob.

And so on, and so on, and these are all tragic stories about heartbreak, but then the other ones started to talk about "what a comedic effect" this has, and I was flabbergasted because I simpy couldn't find one single "funny" thing about our premisses.

Is a man dressed as a woman funny by default? Not in my world. Not at all.

Is homosexuality something funny, worth comedy? Not at all. It's legit. It's real.

I just didn't get what on earth bore the comedic value in there.


Later on, I presented a scene from ny new play, the play about soldiers, that I briefly wrote about earlier on here. I plan on having one of the main characters die by the end, by suicide or other.

Still one of them suggested a more comedic turn on the play, something that in my opinion would ruin the whole thing, because I don't write comedy and I almost got angry at her for suggesting that. Not that I showed anything, I just laughed it away. I don't do comedy.

Am I weird? Am I doing this wrong?

I just.... want to keep killing things. Characters. It soothes me. It makes me feel stuff. It gives me kicks to write, and read and be pain and death and cries.

I told my new theatre buddies that I love when characters die on stage. Get the cat out of the bag right off the beginning. They stared at me like they've seen a ghost. I don't care. I want them to know who I am.

Death scares me. But writing about death feels good. Writing death is good.

I am me.