Caring about what others think of you

Heyy you know this monkey brain thing, where we get anxious if we feel like we aren't following the pack's sense and we believe we're being alianated if we don't follow the stream?

Yes, that was up-to-date when we actually lived in packs and when you would literally starve to death and die if the pack abandoned you. But evolution hasn't caught up yet, and our brains are still telling us to follow the stream or, we will be abandoned, and die.

I can't advertise myself as someone who followed the stream, or the mass, in that many social ways when I grew up. I know many teenage girls (and women) battle with the anxiety that "breaking the norm" in any way delivers, and this is typically even more intense when you're a teenager. My brain has also been really bad at telling me to follow the norm, and I've, in many ways, wanted to break the norm. And I have done so, for the majority of my teenage years and even now, as an adult.

Anything from special interests to fashion to whatever.

And guess what? My brain is becoming even more shitty at telling me to care about what other people think.

I don't care what other people think of me.

This insight has grown over the past few years. I have barely any barriers left for what I post on Snapchat, for all the people following me to see. I just post, without thinking that the 14 people watching my stories might think I'm crazy. I just don't care if they think that. As long as my students nor my mum don't have access to my Snapchat I post almost anything there.

My barriers regarding Instragram has also lowered during the past year. I don't feel like keeping up any illusions. I don't care if people don't like me being personal or honest or just silly on my Instagram. I just... post shit.

Holy shit, I can see myself turning into my own mum. My mum doesn't get embarrassed by anything. Anything! I once asked her if she's never worried what others might think of her, and she laughed and said: You know what? I stopped caring what others think long time ago. They might think I'm wierd, but that's their loss. I don't care.

Have I been raised just to not give a shit, or is this just... a genetical thing where your brain doesn't feel like following the norm? (I'd probably die in the stone age from being abandoned by my pack lol).

Probably both.

And if I ever get to be a mother, I'll do my damn best to raise my own children to not care about others opinion on them. The older I get the more I respect my own mum and how she's raised me to have a really good self esteem.