Long post about Literature

Hell yes, it's time to break down literature and kind of what it means to me. You might know I write a lot and thus I read a good share too. During this summer I've been really down the fanfic rabbit hole and I've spent far more hours reading this summer than usually, so I felt like a post of this is sufficient.

Well. I learned to read by myself when I was 4. So, yeah. I was the best reader in my class when we started school at 7, and I loved reading. The first "thick" book I read on my own was Harry Potter and the Philosofer's stone (what a classic!!).

Fast forward a few years. I always read during the evenings, as it became a ruitine for me. I was particulary fond of fantasy books (also a classic). When I was 14 I started reading in English and was struck by YA-books and it was the first time I read a book that was directed toward teenage girls, as the books I usually read was directed toward boys. A new world opened.

I got a stipendium for my writing when I was 12. Wow that was cool.

Gymnasium, the first bump in the road for book lovers, was managed perfectly. I had time to read. I was so good at managing my learning that I didn't need to study for tests at home (also known as fucking listening at the lessons).

University, the ultimate bump in the road for book lovers. I studied 60 points literature. Well. This is when the love for reading usually dies. It didn't for me. Why? I cheated in school.

I'm not proud for screwing up my university education. But I did it for myself. I was a train wreck and at the brink of serious harm of myself and I had to do something. So I fucked up my education, but managed to get through all the courses. And it saved my love for reading.

You see, literature at university level is mainly, if not only, focused on "analyzing the description of society through the lens of fiction". That is what it is. It's soo description driven that you figure it out pretty fast. We analyzed womens' place in society, and we analyzed stuff that might be seen as outdated. How white male authors described tribal societies in Africa. How Russian authors described simple things making it hard to get what the hell they're describing. How Norwegian authors described what is canonically called "angst" (which in here means fear rather than acutal angst). And society and society again.

You know I'm a veery characted based person. Yeah, yeah, descriptions here and there and society, whatever, but characters? Give me my characters!!!!!

And this was commonly totally overlooked in university.

Characters are not overlooked in other fields of literature. If I've ever even mentioned about this to any of my classmates, hell, let alone the teachers I'd probably get the boot, but fucking hell, FANFICTION OH MY GOD DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED

I've read a 150 000 word long series in the past like two days and fuck me backwards if it isn't too good for my own good.

When I get into a (written) character my body starts to react as the character. My pulse rise, my heart beats faster, I twitch alot, and I get a feeling similar to heart ache, but it doesn't hurt it's just so intense, and ofc I find fics with authors similar to myself with angst up to the chest. I want to scream into a pillow, I got a huge reaction from the latest piece of work I read.

This reaction is even bigger than watching movies ever has given me.

Because when you, by reading, do the psychological, cognitive act of imagining stuff yourself (contrary to movies where you are served the scenes), you get moved in a totally different way that I wish every human being could experience.

I've had the best reading experiences this summer with fanfics serioulsy. I'm still so moved, and keep imagining future scenes in my head. How the main character will know he has a friend on his side and is not completely alone. How he would be executed for falsy treason. ASDGHJK.L-

I'm just a very emotional ball of energy at the moment, excuse me.